It’s been a good day,  I prayed this morning on my knees in the shower and it has seemed to clear my head for the day. Did a step 10 last night which cleared my head also. I am constantly aware of my behaviour, even the stuff I wasn’t aware of since Monday. I felt focussed and grateful all day and looking forward to Daves meeting tonight.

Started the day confused after process.  I understood allot more,  I must keep myself in check at all times, especially around women, even though I am struggling with it. At lunch Alan and I went into town and made a decision not to talk about the women we saw. It felt good, I made an apology to a women who I felt I caused her to break her glasses. If I hadn’t I would have felt guilty all day.

It has been a proper tough day, it feels like I’ve gone back 10 weeks. The people in my group who I call friends gave me gifts today that were hard to accept and it took a while to let them in.  I have been constantly justifying my thoughts / actions but when I heard them come out of my mouth I couldn’t believe it. My addict is strong and I must work this programme to keep a handle on it otherwise I AM FUCKED… BIG TIME!

Dave’s walk with God was unreal, I listened to the words of the songs and cried like a baby….. powerful stuff. I must surrender everyday,

It was a good day today, I got a bit pissed off with not being allowed to go to the funfair, but I understand why so I have accepted it.

I am going to be sad to graduate in a way, I have met so many new friends here and come to really trust my counsellor and group.  I feel safe at TTP and haven’t got a clue what it is going to be like outside of treatment without drugs and alcohol.

Good day, positive, real good meeting last night, powerful message. Last couple of days I think I have become a bit complacent. I need to refocus and have faith. I am worried about graduating, the reality of finishing treatment scares me.

I had a tough night last night, had a battle going on in my head. Started to get feared up about learning. I shared my stuff with Andy which really helped and today I wrote a letter to someone and burned it. While I was burning it the word faith came to mind and I felt a sense of peace. Meditation was excellent.

Good positive day, started heavy with Allan but as I said yesterday I need to concentrate on myself. I really feel connected today. I know whats wright and whats wrong, good and bad and today I think that  my behaviour has been kept well in check. Praying regularly through the day.

I went to the pictures last night and had a smile on my way home, it felt good to walk on my own again. Today has been really heavy, I cried when I wrote my letter and then again when I read it. I cried when Andy and Allan read theirs out, they both touched me. I have felt open and emotional all day.  I feel other peoples painand I need to look at myself deeper to see what it means to me.

Another honest, positive day. Still stuggling a bit with obsessing with a certain person, but I am learning. Almost phoned my ex last night but stopped myself in my tracks and sat with my feelings. Everyday I am learning more and more about who I am and what I need to do.