Good positive day, started heavy with Allan but as I said yesterday I need to concentrate on myself. I really feel connected today. I know whats wright and whats wrong, good and bad and today I think that  my behaviour has been kept well in check. Praying regularly through the day.

I went to the pictures last night and had a smile on my way home, it felt good to walk on my own again. Today has been really heavy, I cried when I wrote my letter and then again when I read it. I cried when Andy and Allan read theirs out, they both touched me. I have felt open and emotional all day.  I feel other peoples painand I need to look at myself deeper to see what it means to me.

Another honest, positive day. Still stuggling a bit with obsessing with a certain person, but I am learning. Almost phoned my ex last night but stopped myself in my tracks and sat with my feelings. Everyday I am learning more and more about who I am and what I need to do.

Positive day again, honest and thoughtful. Made a decision to go against my self will to protect myself and someone else. It’s not going to be easy, at the moment I am obsessing more becasue I am conciously aware that I have to keep my distance. At the end of the day my recovery is the most important thing in my life.

Good positive day, moved last night and slept like a baby. I feel connected today and happy within myself. At peace and grateful.

Emotional day, last night was tough again with Nigel, I was pissed of with how it was dealt with and was worried for my house. My concern then shifted to Allan who worried me all day. My peer evaluation blew me away and I have been trying to accept it and believe it. I love my group and feel honoured to be a part of it, I must stop crying! but any little thing sets me off.

This week has been a test and I have learnt so much from it. Last nights events did fear me up a bit and exhausted me. I have accepted it and have grown spiritually I feel. Seeing Nigel like he was made me feel like I never want to be like that again and also saddens me to see this disease in action over three nights. I will never forget the events and after all thats happend myself and my house did not drink or use. I am proud of myself and my housemates. I am looking forward to a good nights sleep.

Emotional day, but a good one after yesterdays events. Struggled last night with Nigel but my priority was my housemates. Cried twice today but I needed it. Step 6 and 7 was good for me and I needed the feedback, feel better now.

Interesting day! I got a letter from my mum telling me nothing I didn’t already know about my behaviour on Sunday. I was also expecting  Senior Peer but have been denied for telling the truth and owning my actions on Sunday. I have obviously still got alot to learn. I reacted wrongly and i am sorry. I need to deal with my feelings.

I think I have realised something, all through treatment I’ve been thinking of the thing I need to let go of. Some big event in my life, but that’s not the case , it’s myself I need to let go of, my actions and selfishness.